Friday, February 03, 2006

Update on Dad

Sorry I've been gone a while. Been horrendously busy at work which is good because it keeps me from thinking too much. Talked to Dad on Wednesday and the truth he was keeping from us came out.

On my last blog about Dad I told how his doctor told him that he has to have his bladder removed. He has been very depressed and talking about death all the time. When I talked to him on Wednesday he told me something else that he left out of the initial bad news. The doctor said that he has to go in on February 15th and have a CT scan to check for cancer in the lymph nodes. If they find cancer, they will not remove the bladder because it is too late and there is nothing else they can do. My heart just dropped into my shoes. I really didn't know what to say. But I guess my instincts took over and I told him and Gay that there was no sense getting worked up and worrying about it. Let's just take one step at a time. I thought about KristieJ's post about this same attitude. I think that's what they wanted to hear too but I know they're worried and I'm a natural worrier.

My two sisters are going to be with Gay when Dad has the CT scan on the 15th and when he gets the results that same day. I'm a complete coward!! I just can't be there because I'm so scared that if the news is bad I'm going to fall apart. The strange thing is my mom died on February 16th, 1999. So if the news is bad, the 16th is going to be a very bad day for us all.

I'm very confused about what the doctor told him. I just can't believe they would just give up with all treatments if they find cancer in the lymph nodes. But my sister will ask all those questions. In the meantime my sisters and brother and I have been exchanging emails about living wills and power of attorney. My brother has been acting like a overbearing know-it-all but I have ignored all his emails. I figure that's how he handles this kind of stress. While my sisters and I are more emotional.

Please forgive me for this very depressing post. I should have warned you at the beginning. Thanks for all your support. Just writing down all my fears here has helped me feel better so hopefully I can keep it together.

There is a bit of good news. Dad told me that next time he goes into the doctor he will tell her about his depression and ask for some medication for it (and Gay will make sure he does). That's a major step for Dad.

I have been able to read some good and not so good books. I have a few half finished reviews but I've been spending more of my computer time posting on everyone else's blog. Thanks for listening. I'll post another update when I find out the test results. KristieJ, Tara, and others have all been making me laugh my ass off lately. Thanks ladies! I needed that. :)

8 comments:

sybil said...

Oh honey I am so sorry. The waiting is one of the worst things regarding anything. But our parents... it is just hard for us to understand.

period

no matter how much you prepare yourself or tell yourself you are. So feel free to run on at length. It is such a great thing he is going to talk to the dr about the depression! No matter what right now his body and mind do not need anything else to focus on and depression is a real illness. Good for him!

many hugs to you!

CindyS said...

Sending good thoughts your way.

There is something called Oxygen Therapy but I don't know anyone who has gone through it. Also, I don't know what kind of cancers they deal with. I just wanted you to know that if the doctors decide they can't do anything that looking into alternative medicine might be the next step. Oygen Therapy has been used in Europe for years to treat cancer with great success rates but it hasn't been approved by the FDA. I think there is only one place in Canada that does it and it is in Vancouver.

I hope that the lymph nodes are clear and that they can get on with the operation!

I am so glad that he is asking about some meds. It is a huge step for him and I know you must be proud of him.

Take care of yourself!

cindyS

Tara Marie said...

I'm so sorry. This explains why he's been so down. It's very scary dealing with all of this. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Tara

Megan Frampton said...

I am so sorry to hear this...I hope things are as good as they can be, and it is very good your dad asked for help. My thoughts are with you. A sick parent is very, very hard.

Rosario said...

Renée, [[hugs]]! I'll be thinking about you guys on the 15th and sending positive thoughts. Hope the news are good!

Kristie (J) said...

Awww Renee, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I wondered when we hadn't heard from you for a while if that was it. Ron has it in his lymph nodes too which is why they won't operate. But he is going the chemo and radiation route so I guess you just have to wait to hear what the doctor says. And taking it one day at a time is the only way to do it. Otherwise you go simply mad.
And good for your Dad for getting something for depression. I wish Ron would but I think he's very angry with his doctor for not finding it sooner and doesn't want to see him.
And I find blogging very cathatic. So blog about whatever your heart tell you too!!! Doing mine and reading others is such a release.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep in touch.

Avid Reader said...

{{{{Hugs, ReneeW}}}}}}

We support whatever it is that helps you get through this period because there's nothing easy about any of this. Also, I think it's excellent that your dad will get some help for his depression. Don't expect quick results,just continue to have patience and support him.

Keishon

ReneeW said...

Thank you everyone. I find that writing about it and talking with friends has helped me very much. It is such a relief that Dad has asked for help with his depression. I'm determined to think positively and not worry since there is nothing I can do about the situation. I put his name on our church prayer chain and that feels good knowing the whole church is praying for him.
Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers.

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