Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas... shoot me now

You'll never believe this. Yesterday (Saturday) morning Bob went golfing (in the rain) while I hit the stores and after making about 10 stops manage to finish most of my shopping. I walked in the door at home ready to start wrapping, decorating and baking. And what do I find. Bob is 'braced' in the kitchen trying to fix his lunch. And he casually mentions the fact that while out golfing he hurt himself. Come to find out ... he has severely sprained his ankle. He was in pain and couldn't put any weight on it. I was stunned. Okay, I admit, I'm a selfish bitch, but my first thought was "how am I going to get everything done without him?"

Bob said he was walking down a slope (11th hole) and slipped on the wet grass and tried to catch himself and heard a loud pop (that was probably the ligament tearing). I was ready to be all sympathetic when he goes on to say that he thought he could just walk it off so he plays the other 7 holes limping. So here is where I get pissed at him. Walk. It. Off. ???? Are you kidding me? What is with the male macho shit? How he made it home driving I have no idea (it is his right ankle). So now his ankle is so swollen and black and blue he can hardly move. I had to call the neighbor to get him in the car so I can drive him to the emergency room because I wanted to make sure no bones were broken.

So I get him in the wheelchair at the ER and fill out the forms and we are sitting in the waiting room when I remember that I forgot to buy a toy for a 4-yo that will be at out house on Christmas. I left Bob at the ER and went over to Toys-R-Us (Bob said it was okay). Yeah, I'm a heartless bitch. I get back to ER and he is in the trauma room waiting for xray. No bones broken thank goodness but the doctor said sprains sometimes take just as long to heal but he should be able to move around in 5-7 days! I get him home and barely managed to get him in the house by myself. My neighbor (same one) happened to have a spare pair of crutches and they are a godsend.

Did I mention that Bob has NOT done ANY Christmas shopping (Mr. Procrastinator - worse than me). He usually shops Christmas Eve day, but that's out now. So he called our daughter and she went out tonight to get my gifts. Today was unbelievable. We have an artificial tree we keep in the attic in a HUGE box. I dragged it to the top of the stairs and made numerous trips up and down to empty out all the branches. I put Bob to work unfolding all the branches and I set it up. I also wrapped presents, baked cookies, cleaned and de-cluttered, and fetched and carried water and food for Mr. Grumpy-Pants. He's a very bad patient. He supposed to keep it elevated, on ice and take ibuprofen but I had to nag him about it. But I give up... he's on his own tomorrow. I'm not a very sympathetic nurse. I had to make a quick trip to the grocery store and I think I'm ready for Christmas Day and Eve. I feel pretty good about being ready. But really, I think I deserve medal ... or maybe diamonds, yeah, that would do it.

I am having my daughter and boyfriend and son and girlfriend Christmas Eve, then we go to church and I play in our handbell choir. Christmas morning is quiet, but just as a prelude to my whole family coming for dinner (19 people). I am making a turkey and ham and everyone else brings the rest. Then we are doing a secret santa gift exchange.

Wake me when it's over :)

Hope everyone has a lovely holiday.


Dev said...

Acccck!! My anxiety level is rising just reading this. I wish I was closer ~ I'd offer to help.

Kyahgirl said...

I'm sorry to hear about Bob's injury! ouch.

Try not be too stressed out. Christmastime is not supposed to be hell...but it takes some mental gymnastics to get to that place!!

Kristie (J) said...

Oh Man!!! Talk about adding stress onto stress!! I've read this after the fact, but I still feel for you. Hopefully you made it through and in a few years you can laugh about the Christmas Bob sprained his ankle.

Macho Men *shaking head*

nath said...

I'm sooo sorry to hear that your husband got injured :( Hope that Christmas was still enjoyable :D LOL Queen and Mr. Procastinator :) You're a match in heaven!

CindyS said...

Holy toasted peanuts!! Your Bob is lucky I'm reading this many days late cause I would have to send in the flying monkeys.

Did you create a new rule? One where he is no longer allowed to go out golfing in the month of December? Trust me, that'll make his ankle all better ;)

I'm thinking next year you and I should be 'Bobs'. We'll do nothing, call others to do our shopping and then say 'why are you crying?' when they can't take the pressure.

Yes. I cried.


Hope everything is okay and that you are lounging around in a robe with great chocolate and an even better book by your side.


ReneeW said...

Dev: You are so sweet to offer help :)

Kyahgirl: You are so right. But I managed to live through it.

Kristie: Yes, men! I'm not laughing yet but I think by next year I'll be able to without strangling him.

Nath: Yeah, we are a pair in procrastination but he takes the prize really. Shopping on Christmas Eve is the worst.

Cindy: We really are twins because I agree with you 100%. I told Bob I would gladly trade places with him and he told me I was being bitchy :) The day after Christmas I lounged in my robe till noon and ate Christmas goodies and read non-stop. We think alike :)

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