Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Movie Review: Beowulf

My team at work won a little competition a few months ago and the prize was lunch and a movie. Our manager finally delivered on that prize yesterday. The guys wanted to go to a Thai restaurant and the movie they decided on was Beowulf in 3D at the IMAX theatre. Not my decision but I went along with it.

The movie was horrid. Too gruesome, bloody and disgusting. I know it was just digital animation but it was very realistic and with the 3D glasses made it look like blood, guts and body parts were flying in your face constantly.

The monster Grendel was so ugly that he was excruciatingly painful to even look at. When Grendel grabs one of the men and bites his head off and crunches on it like celery, my stomach heaved and right there I was done. But I had to sit there because I couldn't see myself climbing over 8 people to get the hell out of there so I suffered through much of the rest of it with my eyes closed.

And the nudity was another story. Now I don't mind nudity, especially male nudity :) but just imagine watching a movie with 8 of your fellow mostly-male coworkers where a male and female character were totally nude (ok, I know it was animation). Would you feel a tad uncomfortable? I was squirming a bit. OK, here's the deal. Angelina Jolie is Grendel's evil mother (forgot her character's name) and she emerges as a gold-plated nude from the waters of the lagoon. Except she had no nipples. (Are those real breasts, cuz mine were never that perky... just saying). And she had spike-heeled feet .... NOT shoes, FEET. You can see it in this picture here. When I saw that I burst out laughing. I think that my girlfriend co-worker and I were the only people that caught that because we were the only ones laughing. The guys were silent ... I'm sure I know what they were looking at. Beowulf is the boastful warrior that takes on Grendel and strips nude to do battle with him. But the family jewels are always kept hidden by well placed objects or people. I don't get that... why are women shown completely nude from head to toe, front & back. Yet nude men always have the good parts covered. There's a double standard here. Men are wimps.

Those damn 3D glasses gave me a headache and made my face itch plus I had to go to the bathroom EXTREMELY badly the last 45 minutes. Let's just say I was miserable through the whole movie. Can you believe this thing was rated PG-13? Should have been R rated really but they got away with it because it was animation. There is something wrong with the MPAA rating system... it's total crap.

I will say that the animation was good with a few problems. Sometimes motion was sort of jerky like when they are riding horses. Too choppy. Anyway, this is not a girl movie. At. All. It might have been tolerable if seen in a regular theatre where bloody stuff isn't flying so much in your face. Or maybe just rent the video when it comes out so you can mute the head crunching sounds. Blech!


CindyS said...

Blech. Sounds horrible and since I feel uncomfortable around most people when there is sex on the screen I would be even worse around co-workers.

None of them were in the mood for a comedy?



ReneeW said...

Cindy: See, no one asked me what I wanted to see. Us girls were out numbered. Yup. Men.

Dev said...

I have no inclination to see this at all.

ReneeW said...

Dev: Believe me, I would not have been there if I'd known about the violence. Plus my girlfriend co-worker would have dragged me along anyway, not wanting to be the only girl.. If I'd been on the aisle seat I'm sure I would have walked out.

Kristie (J) said...

You have to wonder sometimes don't you about how differently men and women view some movies. Guy movies are either gruesome like that gem you saw or just plain stupid with actors such as Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, Will Farrel et al.
And how typical that they didn't even consult you
Flying bloody body parts *shudder*

Rosie said...

I'm with Dev. No interest to see this one at all. I didn't think the CGI animation looked that hot in the brief trailers I've seen to begin with then when I read they mangled the Beowulf story I lost all interest. Renee, what did the guys think though? Did they like it?

Alie said...

Glad you gave your review of the movie. I didn't like the book when we had to read it so I didn't really imagine myself watching the movie...

sula said...

ugh, I have no interest in seeing this. For a half-decent Beowulf interpretation, I choose the Antonio Banderas movie...wasn't it the 13th warrior or something like that? There was a really good review of this newer film the other day on where the reviewer basically says that the movie doesn't translate the poetic-ness (my word) of the epic in the way that say LOTR managed to do on screen.

Anyways, totally agree with you on the nudity with mixed audience coworkers. squick! Reminds me of being 16 and going to see Jerry Macguire with my father. oh dear, when Kelly Preston and Tom Cruise were having very loud sex, I was about to curl up and DIE. lol.

ReneeW said...

Kristie: You are so right about guy movies. I hate those stupid supposedly funny movies. Seems like there are more guy movies out there than good girl movies.

Rosie: The guys loved it... blood, guts, action, and naked angelina... what's not to like.

Alie: I never read the story, it just never interested me. One of the guys had read the story in the original Old English. Yikes, sounds like a nightmare.

Sula: Beowulf was an epic poem from about 700 A.D. I'm sure there are better movies of this story out there. I get that squicky feeling whenever watching any movie with a sex scene in front of my dad too.

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